Nate was a lot like me.
Loud, goofy, awkward.
We went to high school together but never really got to know one another until a job at Starbucks landed us together six years later.
It was nice to see a familiar face on the first day of a new job.
Nate took me under his wing and within no time our shifts were spent in tears from laughing so hard with each other.
I thank God for those memories.
I’d only been working at Starbucks for a couple months before Nate left the company to focus on Uber and his dog walking business.
Every so often one of us would reach out through Facebook and discuss meeting for pedicures.
We never got the chance to do so.
It pains me that I didn’t know how much he really needed me.
My career at Starbucks lasted another year before leaving to have baby #2 and be a stay-at-home mom.
Being a barista was getting increasingly unbearable thanks to preeclampsia!
Every shift my feet would swell painfully HUGE and I wouldn’t be able to get my shoes off when I got home.
Finally in my last week at Starbucks-miserable was an understatement.
There were not many things that made me smile at that point.
And then, in walked Nate one day with a pink gift bag in one hand and a box of diapers in the other.
The super pregnant barista was finally smiling.❤️
That’s just the person that Nate was.
He was the sunshine.
The silly friend who always went completely out of his way to make other people smile.
I was leaving church when I opened the message nobody wants to receive,
“Hey girl I hate to tell you this but Nate is gone. They found him face down in a parking garage with a single gunshot wound in the front of his head.”
Excuse me what did you just say?!?
So many emotions pulsing through me.
What was going on?!
Where was I?!?!
In an instant my world went black and white.
Battling with my mind while searching for answers.
A freaking murder?!?!
I was in such a state of shock that I literally tried convincing myself that it was all some kind of social experiment or prank.
My mind just couldn’t believe it.
Until I walked into his funeral service and instantly shattered.
This was all for real and I couldn’t deny it anymore.
I wish he could have seen how many people came to say goodbye to him…
People who loved him overflowing into every inch of the large room.
His brother’s speech would kickoff the service and offer some answers in this tragic madness.
“Nate had depression.”
Confessed his brother, speaking at the start of the service.
You couldn’t be talking about my Nate?!
He was always so happy!!!
And then it hit me.
Every person has their own way of trying to keep their head above water.
Severe depression is a serious condition.
It’s a debilitating kind of loneliness.
Nate… I’m sorry.
Sorry you were hurting. 💔
Sorry that the pain was too bad to continue on suffering the blow.
I had no idea you had depression… and I’m sorry for that too.
I’m sorry that you’re gone.
And I’m sorry for the finality of all of this.
I miss you.
I love the moments when you say hello as the sun blanketing me… the snowflake landing on my nose.
I wish your story could have ended differently.
Rest In Peace my friend.❤️
In loving memory of Nathan Flanagan💐
Follow my blog for more ❤️⬇️❤️
Love what you’re reading?!
Shopping on Amazon?!
Support this blog by clinking one of the images below and completing your shopping through that link!
Thank you so much for the love and support ❤️