“They give you heaven and they give you hell.”
After graduating high school I moved to Florida to experience life away from home.
A couple months into this experience I crossed paths with a guy I went to middle school with in Colorado.
Jumping into a relationship, the passion grew like fire.
Dysfunctional was an understatement.
It started as little battles with control.
We fell hard and we fell fast.
I drank myself stupid every single day.
I had a history of picking guys that became obsessive- The red flags disguised in familiarity.
His burning desire to sustain this dysfunctional relationship resulted in a tightened grip on me.
I worked at a kiosk in the mall and he would creep around upstairs, watching me.
Everyone else could see the madness, but I was blind.
The first time he got arrested was because I wanted to go tan.
He hated when I tanned because they wouldn’t let him go in the room with me.
He couldn’t watch me for 15 minutes of the day and it killed him inside.
“YOU ARE MEETING A GUY IN THERE AND CHEATING ON ME!!!”
As the grip tightened, I repelled.
This first incident started with my attempt to to sneak out the door and tan.
He came racing after me, jumping in his car, without shoes or a shirt on.
At the stoplight he put his car in park and started banging on my car window screaming.
A bystander called it in.
“SHOOT ME! JUST SHOOT ME!!!”
He yelled at the police officers as they took him into custody.
After being released from jail he moved right back into my apartment.
Looking back I know I should have recognized the signs.
But lust blinds us…
The next time the cops were called came after a dispute on rent money.
He couldn’t hold a job with his full schedule of stalking me and once again I was left to come up with all of it.
I was almost an entire bottle of Burnette’s in, but no amount of alcohol could erase what happened next from my mind.
Enraged and heated, substances amiss, he snapped.
He grabbed my throat and slammed me against the wall.
Using his grip as leverage he began to lift me up.
I went numb.
The next thing I remember is the way the carpet felt on my face.
He was gone, I was shaken and impulsively called the police.
In the minutes it took for the police to arrive though, I had changed my mind.
I wanted to erase the phone call for help and resubmit to this hell.
So I crawled underneath my bed trying to hide.
“POLICE! OPEN UP!!”
It took close to 30 minutes and threats to break down my door before I surrendered.
I was hiding to protect someone who tried to kill me… like how twisted is that?!?!
I’m writing this because I know that someone reading it will resonate with domestic violence.
You guys, toxic relationships DON’T GIVE YOU HEAVEN!!!
It’s the devil distorting every ounce of sense from your mind.
If just days later my roommates wouldn’t have robbed every last thing I had, I possibly would have remained in the relationship.
I know for sure that at times when things got lonely, times before I fell in love again, that I would have gone back for sure.
That is so ridiculously messed up that it’s not even funny.
Thankfully, I made it out of the relationship before it was literally the death of me.
Don’t settle for toxicity in relationships!
Don’t be blind to red flags!
GET OUT BEFORE IT GETS BAD!
You may be in a toxic relationship if your partner is:
- Abnormally controlling
- Verbally abusive
- Physically abusive
You deserve someone who treats you like the worthy, incredible, person that you are.
And they ARE out there!!!
Not until you escape your prison, lock the door, and throw away the key… will you find them.
If you or somebody you know is in an abusive relationship, feel free to send me an email!
If love to assist you in getting through this! 💕❤️👇
Or DM me on Instagram at:
Or drop me a comment below! ❤️👇
Check out my blog, Project Identity for more articles on overcoming adversity! 🌤